Sleeping and Lullaby Secrets

When it comes to babies and sleep everyone will have an opinion for you
that they are sure will be the answer to your sleepless nights. This is one of
those times that you will have to be firm and make your own decisions about
what type of sleeping routine and schedule you are going to have. There are
baby experts out there who will tell you that you should never let your baby
cry as he is trying to fall asleep. The next expert will tell you that you should
never give in to your crying baby once you have put him to bed. Which method
is right and which is wrong? It all depends on your needs and the needs of your
baby. The guidelines in this chapter on sleep are simply that: a variety of tips
and ideas that you either can or cannot attempt to incorporate into your
bedtime routine.
Before you make the decision about what to do with that baby that
won’t sleep is where is that baby sleeping. Some parents insist that your baby
sleep in his own crib in his own room. Still other parents want their baby in
their bedroom. Neither is right or wrong and there are advantages to both. If
your baby sleeps in her room you will likely get more rest for yourself since you
won’t be disturbed by the snufflings and other sleeping noises that newborn
babies make. Your baby may wake less often if she is in her own room but this
is not always the case. If your baby is sleeping in the same room as you are,
you might find it less disturbing and easy to be able to attend to your baby’s
needs right there. If you not only have your baby in the same room as you but
also in the same bed, you should be aware of some of the dangers of sleeping
in the same bed together. Baby experts are completely divided over the issue
of sharing the same bed with your baby. You will have to research the safety
versus the emotional issues and decide for yourself if you are going to be
bringing your baby into bed with you.
You will likely need more sleep than your new baby. New babies most
often are not able to sleep through the night until they have at least doubled
their weight. This usually happens when your baby is between four and five
months old. The following table shows the amount of sleep that babies should
be getting. Keep in mind that this is just a guideline and don’t be discouraged
if your baby doesn’t fall within the norm.
Age Total Hours of Sleep Needed Per Day (including naps)
1-15 days 16-22
3 weeks 16-18
6 weeks 15-16
4-6 months 14-16
9 months 13-16
1 year 12-15
Once you have decided how you are going to handle where your baby
sleeps and just how much sleep the charts say she should have, you will want
to think about getting into some sort of a routine whether or not she is going to
sleep any better because of it or not. A sleep routine can be a soothing and
comforting part of your baby’s nighttime ritual. It is a way for you and your
family to incorporate sleep into the daily routine without it becoming a battle
of mind over baby. As your baby grows she will understand that bedtime comes
after bath time and may start to settle down if she is comforted by the
bedtime routine.
There are many ways that you can establish the bedtime routine. Here
are some tips and ideas for bedtime routines that you might want to consider:
1. Start the bedtime routine with a bath, some cuddle time, a song or
story, a feeding, more cuddling, and then bed.
2. Sing a soothing lullaby just before you put your baby to bed.
3. Try to do things in the same order, with the same people involved, at
that same time each night so that you create a pattern that your baby
will recognize as a pre-sleep routine.
4. Make sure the lights are low and dim. You want to make your baby
recognize that when it’s dark, it’s time to sleep.
5. Make sure that whatever routine you set up for you and your baby that
there is a finality to it at the end. Your baby should learn that when you
put him into bed, no matter how pleasant the bedtime routine has been,
that it’s time to sleep. Give him some time to fuss.
Number five in the above list is a very important point to remember
when it comes to establishing your bedtime routine. If you cuddle your baby,
lay down with him, or sing to him one more time after you have put him to
bed, he will come to expect that anytime he isn’t ready for sleep all he has to
do is fuss and the pleasure of being rocked will be his again. You are not trying
to play a game of control with him or deny him your affection after he has
been put into bed. After all, it’s normal for him to want to be with you. What
you are trying to do is make him understand that after the bedtime routine is
complete, it is time to sleep.
A quick note on nighttime feedings, which will be further discussed in
the chapter entitled From Milk to Solids. If you are feeding your baby during
the night you won’t be able to establish that bedtime routine. If your baby
needs to have a feeding at night you may have to delay a good sleeping pattern
until he is ready to stop feeding during the night. Most babies stop feeding
during the night around five to six months.
Lullabies. Still on the subject of sleep, but on the more entertaining
side: Lullabies. Using music to lull and soothe your baby to sleep can be an
enjoyable experience for both of you. More about music in the next chapter
entitled Using Music to Calm Your Baby.
The Lullaby, or Cradle Song, has been around for centuries. Whether
you are singing Brahm’s Lullaby or stumbling through a tune from Sesame
Street, what matters is that you are using the power of music and your voice to
communicate with your baby. Singing a lullaby at some point during baby’s
nighttime routine will settle him down and prepare him of the stillness of
sleep.
There is so much more that can be covered under the “sleep” topic
when it comes to your baby. You will have to establish your own nighttime
rules by trial and error. As your baby grows older you will find that his sleep
patterns are constantly changing. What you will have established with the use
of baths and lullabies are certain characteristics that can be adapted to
whatever nighttime routine you come up with to fit to your baby’s age and
needs. With a lot of patience and love you will able to make it through the
ever-changing world of baby’s sleep.